"When it falls apart, and I" Is the phrase kalinka gave me to vent.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What do I do when your gone?
Tell me how I'm suposed to carry on.
What do I do when that day come's?

When it falls apart, and I wither away like the flower you put in my hair
do you want me to live alone? Find someone new?Re joyce and dance in the street
like the day I did when I met you? I dont think so. I'll sit in my room and bleed myself dry
rembering the day's when you held me when I cried. Now I have no one. I'm drowning in sea of
my own fury and rage. The water turned red.The fish all dead. I'm lost in the maze known as my mind turning corners trying to find the way out. You hold the key. I beg you please find me.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok I hope you like it if you didnt well go to hell.
Angry as hell,
Jesse

Alright I got another WICKED idea. I'm picking random song's of my playlist and I'm going to write a poem or something about them!!! Good idea? comment and tell me.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Violet-hole
She dances in the rain and when she smile's she make's the boy'hearts sigh.
Oh how I envy her style and grace and her beautiful face. I want to make a guy fall for me with just a single glance. But she's got her secret's to. With her father gone and her mother alone it kills her knowing that she is alone in the world. To cold to love but not cold enough to hate.

Zombie-the cranberrie's
Dead inside out.
Walking slowly.
Avoid all human's at all costs.
The glares of the horrifyed people tells me somethings wrong.
I dont understand.
It's only a scratch right?
Or is this wound deeper?
Bleeding through my clothes.
Exposing my pain to the world.
They did this to me.
Now I hear ther horrifide screams as I drop to my knee's.
They couldnt give a shit before.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm all writed out for now. Hope you likd. I couldnt care less if you didnt.

My #1 weapon:sarcasum,
Jesse

30
The pain has just started. I watch as the blood driped slowly onto the floor. It felt like someone tied a brick to my stomac and dropped it. With a quivering hand I touched the body. He was lifless and cold. I couldnt belive what I had done.

20
I droped the knife and bolted for the door. He deserved it. I touched my bleeding forhead as I remeberd what he did. I shudderd and looked down at my torn,blood stained clothes. He had it coming. I figured I should change so I ran upstairs and changed my now red clothes.

10
What a fitting day for a murder. The rain pouring down on me, thunger crashing, lightinting striking. I could feel the water splashing up the back of my leg as I ran. When I got to the main road I started to walk, You know to avoid suspision. It felt like I had bin walking forever without seeing some form of life. Until I heard the sirens.

End
I kicked my leg's and screamed."YOU CANT FORCE ME!!!!" It had bin 3 week's scince I killed him and 3 week's scince I had bin put in this..this horrible place. The doctors threw me up against my wall and I felt the peircing feeling of the needel going into my neck. I felt my breathing slow down and my body relaxe."Now,Would you like to tell us again why you did what you did?" I just hung my head and said my peice. I was done fighting. They would never belive me. I mean come on, Would you belive me?.....Wait would you? Please... Help me. I fell un- consiouse.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Well I got this great idea in school to write something ever ten minutes. And that is what I came up with. Enjoy.

Dark ideas from my dark self,
Jesse

OK scince Jonny decided to write more I will to.
--------------------------------------------------
I watched as the large man swung his mace at llyd. I felt 2 hands grab me from behinde. I shriked and tryed to kick my legs but I couldnt. I felt hand's touching me in very...unpleasnt places. I could see marr being held back and kalinka and becca being touched the way I was. I heard a loud crack and I looked over to see llyd with the guy's mace in his hand. He whipped out his sword and charged the guy. I was trying desperatly not to cry. I started jerking my body trying to break free but it was no use. I saw llyd chare at us and then he stopped. I fell to the floor with a thud.Llyd kicked some pervert ass as marr came running up. He grabbed kalinka and walked away. Llyd picked up me and becca and caried up off. I held onto llyd for dear life. After that unpleasnt experience I never wanted to let go. I dont think becca or kal did ether. Could you blame them? Thoes ruff,needy,violent hands in rather distirbing place? I shudderd. I wish to forget that day. Llyd pulled out his flute and started to play. It was so soothing and relaxing. I could feel the hot fire on my back and the oothing music in my ear's. I nodded off to sleep.
---------------------------------
SHort and sweet. Just like me......Well mabey the short part. I'm far form being sweet.

Evil lil bitch,
Jesse

Hear is the next part to Jonny's story. And as marr always says Hear is a cactus.Dont ask me why I added that...It just happend.
-------------------
The morning after that whole campfire whoop-la we decided to pack up and continue on our way. We wanderd for what seemed like month but was only mear hours until we came upon a crowded little village."Wow! It's so busy!" i exlaimed at the same time as becca and kalinka. Llyd looked annoyed with us every time we did that.Mabey it's part of the reason why we keep doing it. Who knows. We stopped in the bussling little square and dismounted our horses. One of the soldiers took our horses away beacuse it was far to crowded for and human let alone a horse. Marr stood still as stone. We all seemed to follow his gaze over to a little man standing ther trying to shout over the crowd. "Ok!, We will now begin the fight!,Place all bets winner take all!!, Who shall face the deamon of destruction, the juggernaught of jungeral, the lion of leonar" yelled the small man over the crowd of people. Behinde him stood a great,huge smelly beast of a man. His stare alone seemed to turn the audience to dust. He turned his massive head over at us. The ground seemed to shake when he walked. "What about you?" the man said to marr."Sorry, I dont fight for personal gain, now go away you fool." Marr was usualy pretty calm and cool when challenge,even during battle, The man turned around the swung a mace at marr. He jumped over it easily but llyd was'nt as lucky. It sent him flying back into the circle of people."We have a challanger!!!!, Who will hold his claim?" said the little man from his pearch. I wanted to rip that little sucker limb from limb but I figure llyd needs something to vent on right now so why not let him. "We will!!" kal,becca and I all said at the same time once again."Llyd will rip him apart!" becca cried with a confident smile."Yeah!! He'll devistate him!" Sorry llyd.
------------------------------------------------------------
Thers the next part hoped you liked it.Im going to go play the sims now buh bye!
Silly llyd,
Jesse

Alright Guys. I was thinking of joining the young writers club at my school and I need to know what peices of mine you think are my best. As you all know I'm pretty down on myself so I'm leaving it up to you guys to help me out. Thanks,.



Morbid writing,
Jesse

"The needle through my heart" is the phrase kalinka and I are usuing for lighting blog.(Yes I chose it)



-------



The needle through my heart can never sew up the wound's on my body.
Hate and fustration can never be fixed. Have you ever felt the way I do?
Tonight I'm leaving. See you around. Next time you see me, I'll be 6 feet underground.
You wasted my time and you tore apart my heart. When I said I loved you, did you think I was kidding? When I looked into your eyes and said you were the one was I joking? Playing around with yea? Screwing with your mind? No I wasnt. I was seriouse.....Dead seriouse. Now I can haunt the earth in search of someone just like me. Someone in pain like me. Dead and rotting away inside. Mabey you'll find someone to. Cold and bitter. You tore me apart. I love you is eight letters but so is bullshit.
---------------------------------------------------------------

Well this was pretty much just a rant. I dont know about what but whatever it is...Well ther it is.

Ugly inside-out,
Jesse

"oh wont you grow up!!" Is the phrase marr gave me to work with.
--------------------------------------------------
Bessie walked briskly down the hall."Crap,going to be late again." She spead into class right as the bell rang. She took her seat at the back,like usual. As the teacher started the class bessie found her mind wandering again. All she could think about was her boyfriend and what its gunna be like when she see's him. The sudden slap of a ruler on a desk cut into her thoughts."BESSIE! WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT DAY DREAMIN IN MY CLASS!!"her teacher yelled in her british accent."And what did i say about that make up! it makes you look ugly!"Bessie gave her one of thoes" why do you go die somewher" kinda looks. Her teacher walked back up to her desk. She tryed avoiding the burning eyes of her class mates."Why do they hate me? Oh they all need to grow up and figure out what individuality is!!" she though. Her cell phone wrang. She awnserd it quietly.
"hello?"
"Yeah bess hi."
"Oh hey shawn. What's up?"
"uhh Can I talk to you?"
"Sure.What is it?"
"Well you know how we live far away and all right? Well....I hope you dont mind but... I found someone closer."
Bessie threw the phone at the wall and ran out. She could hear people calling her name but she couldnt give 2 fucks. With her mascara running down her face she ran into the washroom. "something....sharp..."She scanned the room and layed her eyes upon the mirror."ah ha!" She ran over and punched it. It fell to the floor and she picked up a peice. How could he have found someone new!!! After everything! He should just grow up!!! someone closer!!! HA! Now he'll pay. She put a razor sharp peice of glass to her arm and took a deep breath. With all her might she pressed down and watched ass the blood surrounded the glass. She dropped the glass and sat down. Now..Time to wait. She watched as the blood poured out. "why arent i dying!!!!"She sobbed. Musnt have bin deep enough. She picked up the same peice of glass again and put it to her wrist again. Wait.She move it up to her neck.She took another deep breath adn pulled back hard. She fell over coughing and watched as her world went dark.

When she woke up all she saw was shawns face. She tryed to speak but no words came out. She would feel the tears welting up in her eyes. "It's ok baby, I'm hear now. Dont worry." She mannaged to get out a scentance"I thought you found someone new." "I thought I did to. It turns out that she wasnt for me. I knew who I loved and I left what I had. I'm an idiot. I understand if you dont wanna be with me.I'll leave now." Bessie grabbed his arm. "Stay."she croacked. He smield and she smield back.

Ok for thoes of you who dont know this is brody dahl,frontwoman of the distillers. SHE IS MY IDOL. I love everything about her. Her attitude,her band and not to mention HER STYLE. Her voice is so unique and...I JUST LOVE IT.Anyways that was just a random blurb.
Bye.

The hunger,
Jesse

"The problem with life is" is the phrase marr and I are using for lightning blog.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------


"What's so bad about your life?" Matt said taking a bite of his burger."If you only knew..." Emily mutterd."what? Your hot and smart. What more could any girl want?" Emily rolled her eyes and got up."what? What did I do?" Matt said grabbing his and her trays."You know I'm not like that,matt."she pushed past him into the hallway."Emily I was only kidding around." She looked down and nodded."I know. I'm just really in a weird mood.You know, an emily mood." Emily walked timidly down the hall way to her locker."ahh the ever feared emily mood. How I dread you so"Matt leaned on the locker beside her. She gave him a cold stare and sighed"your lucky I love you or you would be in a garbage can somewher right now." He smield at her and hugged her."See the problem with life is, is that I look at the negitive things and I forget the good stuff. Like you." Emily said into matts ear."I love ya kiddo." said matt. "love ya to." And they walked off holding hands.
---------------------
I know it was shit but who cares.

Ok I'm fucking sick of this. Spitting on kylaia is one thing but calling kal a bitch and saying on my behalf is over the line! Yes, Yas I'm talking about you. Jonny,It seems everyones turning on kalinka beacuse of your abscence. I'm not blaming you but mabey you should have a talk with them and tell them to shut the fuck up already. Me and kylaia have our differnces but you dont spit on her for kidding around. I love kalinka alot(friend wise) and you dont go behinde me and call her a bitch. That's a no no. Now, I know I'm not the greatest person in the world but all I have to say is GET YOUR FUCKING HEADS OUTA YOUR MISERABLE DARK CLOUDS AND LIGHTEN THE FUCK UP!!! Yeah, The past month has bin terrible but kalinka was only doing the right thing. Thank her for it. You guys are all my friends but when you do stupid shit I'm gunna call you out on it. If kalinka said that everyone thinks your a bitch I would have called you out on it. It's called respect. Lisen to the arethra frankiln song mabey you'll learn something.

Go to hell do not collect $200,
Jesse

Hears the next part to the story!!!


----------------------------------------------------
I sat around lisening to storys of soliders. After a while i kinda got bored so I went to go sleep under a tree. I awoke to hear a beautiful sound."that sound.....It's so familiar.....Llyd." I thought to myself. I got up and walked over to the logg wher llyd was sitting. Kal and becca were already ther. We all looked down at him as he was playing. As if it were magic kal becca and I started singing the same song,at the same time, at the same place.
"morning star shines through the night.""the end come falling fast""and when we all just walk along we see the rise""when only they can find the end we all begin""to give them hope and cry...we see the rise...the brave and true" He fell asleep. I sighed and rolled my eyes."Men...psht" I muttered. No wonder I was single.

"The rocks below" is the phrase Kal gave me to write about.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"We'll Ditch the body's hear." Spike said after taking a drag of his cigarette. Jay nodded and took a deep breath."What a horrible night" she thought to herself."Hey you ok kiddo?" He said garbbing her arm.Jay looked up into spike's crystal blue eyes. She closed her eyes and shook her head trying to hold back the tears."Spike we killed someone! Of course I'm not ok!! What if we get busted!! I'll never see you again! You'll be bubba's new bitch in the big house!!!!"Jay cried. He grabbed her shoulders."Jay,babe, Come on. We'll be fine!! Look if it will make you feel better we'll skip town.Start a new life in....canada I guess." She nodded as hot tear's rolled down her cheeks. Spike whipped them away."I wouldnt let anything happen to you. I gave you my ring remeber?" Jay looked at the big ring on her finger."alright"she mutterd in a quiet voice."Now, Help me lug this guys body out. We'll throw him over the cliff. No one will find it down ther.She nodded and grabbed his legs.She shiverd at the thought of acctualy touching a dead guy. Spike was only trying to protect her. She thought of last night and how she wishes it never happend.

"Come on baby he'll never find out." Mike said pressing her up aginst the wall."GET AWAY FROM ME CREEP!" she pushed him off of her.He grabbed her arm and threw her back up against the wall."Now, we can do this the easy way or you can experience the hard way." he mutterd.She broke free of him but he hit her. She hit the floor pretty hard. "HEY!! WHAT THE HELL MAN!!she heard spikes voice from behinde her. The last thing she her was spike yelling and then it went black.

She awoke to see spike standing over mike. Mike lay on the ground motionless. "Spike...Wha..?"she touched her head gingerly."fuck...." Why wasnet mike moving? What had spike done to him?"Jay...Are you ok hun? I heard you scream and I ran. OH no!! Your bleeding!!!" Spike franticaly serached through his bad for a cloth."What happend to mike?" Jay said grimly."He's........"Mike looked down."Jay I had to!!He..."mike rambled on about how he was goign to kill him.Jay stared at the blood coverd mike. Ther was a knife in his hand.He was going to kill him."I did'nt mean to hun."she felt spikes arms around her. She helped him drag the now garbage bag wrapped body to the car and threw him in the trunk. They drove as far up north as possible without crossing the border line.They got to the cliff and dragged the body out to the edge."ready?" 1....2....3!"with all her might jay threw the body of the cliff. She watched the body fall and hit the rocks below. For the rest of the night she sat in spikes arms. "I promice nothings guna happen to you"he kissed her cheek. No matter what happend she knew that spike was the one. No matter how horrifying the past night was she knew he loved her. Nothing could tear them apart. Not even death.

Fin.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well lookie hear. I know how to do the phoyo thingy to. I did have a story to post but my computer fucked up and I lost it. Oh and a heads up to all you guys out ther I'm pmsing so dont mess with me. I'm bound to kill you. Anyways whenever jonny decides to write the next part I'll upsate till then ttfn ta ta for now!

-Alright I feel like writing another part to my story concidering I have alot of catching up to do. Plus like Kal said, It's theriputic and I'm very stressed out right now. So hear goes nothing.
-------------------------------------------------------------

After a while I got bored so I rode up the moutain to go find them. I saw Llyd talking to some mistress and kal and marr not to far behinde him. I dismounted my horse and ran up and hugged him from behinde. As did kalinka."Where the hell have you been!!! You nearly gave me a heart attack you woolheaded oaf!!" I scolded him as I hugged him. Marr lectured him but the girl behinde him stepped infront. "How dare you preach to him on being eresponsible!He just saved me and those others from a shadow mouth!!" I stopped hugging him and went back over to marshall.I hopped back up and he reared "steady boy." The mystery woman was also going to valvega so Llyd suggested she come with us. Marr shrugged and let her come. I later found out her name was rebecca. I stayed quiet most of the trip. I dont know why but i kinda felt tierd and scared. Mabey I was home sick. I shook my head trying to clear my thoughts. After we set up camp Llyd and rebecca went off into the forest to practice with Llyd's sword. I snickerd to myself after I thought about that. When he came back I looked up for a split second to see him standing infront of the fire. I blushed and looked down as to avoid his stare. "The fire makes you look pretty." Kalinka and I both said at the same time. He blushed to. Why do I feel so....alone?


------------------------------------------------------------
Well ther you have it kids.
Therapy for Jesse D.
I feel kinda better.
And Marr....TO BAD ITS GUNNA HAVE HARDCORE NUDITY...Just kiddin.*rubs my neck* stupid strep throat.*gives thumbs down*
Smelly. I kinda just wanna write more random garbage.
*dances like cyndi lauper to "she bop"* I love this song. Althought it's about something rather odd. Most people dont know what it's about.
*coughs* that's....enough for me... bye

Pinata's promot violence against flamboyant animals,
Jesse